“Will I ever be good enough?”

Why can’t this thought just make me feel crummy? I mean, why does it also have to cause anxiety too? Why not a 1:1 ratio of thought to disturbing feeling? It doesn’t seem fair that one thought can wreak such havoc!

But it can. And it often does.

The tell-tale precursor, ‘will I ever’. Future tense. Not yet achieved. Not sure of the answer.

Now couple that with ‘good enough?’ and well, that’s almost the classic, text book example of how to feel bad or worse than bad.

So it makes sense but let’s do a little thought experiment. The above example is one thought leading to two uncomfortable and disturbing feelings, crummy and anxious. Let’s pull the two apart and see what it would be like to have a 1:1 ratio.

First picture what it would be like to have the thought, “Will I ever be good enough?” and feel bad but no anxiety.

Now, let’s picture that same thought, “Will I ever be good enough?” and feel anxiety but not bad.

Can you do it?

How often do you a/b test our thoughts with experiments? Give it a try. I’d love to know what you find!