Perfectionist, Type A personality, Control freak are just some of the words that people use to describe themselves. These labels are pretty culturally acceptable and in some circles even boast-worthy!

And they’re not bad, they’re just, well, a cover-up.

They’re covering up a feeling that we learn very few skills to effectively deal with in a healthy way. That feeling is fear. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of being discovered as a fake. Afraid that any sign of things not going your way might indicate a flaw that runs so deep you’ll be rejected.

The next time you feel the urge to be a perfectionist, control a situation or find yourself in an uptight bundle, get curious. Are you actually afraid of not being good enough in that moment or being revealed as not what people think you are?

What are some other code-switching examples like this that we do?